A Mobile Hangs Over the Crib

by Kate LaDew

dangling pinwheels 

        your breath will never move

hemingway didn't actually write that story about the baby shoes

        someone did, 

                someone had to, but no one knows who

it's amazing how adding three letters to a word changes everything

cinderella's carriage changed back into a pumpkin at midnight

        I changed back into a woman instead of a mother at 10am on a Sunday morning

                part of me wonders if I'd been getting ready for church instead of brunch 

                        if it all might've been different

brunch and church are both six letters long (baby shoes story - six words)

                         almost the same, brunch, church, 

                                bun in the oven, you're shaped like a pumpkin

the carriage is missing

        I had misgivings

                miss, your carriage awaits

                        miss, you have a lovely carriage

                                miss, carriage, be safe

miscarriage - the birthdate the hospital guessed for you 

                is circled in red on the calendar 

                if I had used a pink marker, maybe blue, might it all have been different?

                        red is for mistakes, mis -takes

                                mis-taken for someone who could raise a child

god snapping his fingers (his, sir, not miss) 

                presto-change-o 

                        alone again 

with the residue of you,

                scouring my insides like a dirty oven, the smell of pumpkin pie 

                        and milk 

                                and baby wipes 

                                        and powder and the dreams 

                                                I had for someone who doesn't exist 

                                                        anymore

Kate LaDew is a graduate from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro with a BA in Studio Art. She resides in Graham, NC with her cats Charlie Chaplin and Janis Joplin.